Growing in Love

Hebrews 6:1-12 (paraphrased)
Therefore let us leave the elementary doctrine of Christ and go on to maturity, not laying AGAIN a foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God... but of instructions about washings, laying on of hands, resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgement - and this we will do if God permits.

For its impossible (once enlightened; once the heavenly gift has been tasted and the Holy Spirit received, and one has tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the age to come - and then fallen away) it's impossible to restore them again to repentance, since they are crucifying once again the Son of God to their own harm and holding him up to contempt. For land that has drunk the rain and produces useful crops are blessed by God; but if it bears thorns and thistles it is worthless, and its end is to be burned.

I am awestruck at the many layers of meaning and the beauty in it. The Lord has really put this message upon my heart this week. The implication here is that once you speak his name on your lips, once you claim your inheritance as his child, once you are touched by the Holy Spirit and you've received his blessings - to turn away from that is bringing the cost of Christ's sacrifice upon your head. I don't say that with a spirit of condemnation but with a spirit of urgency and seriousness that every Christian be compelled to ask God where he/she stands in this. Have I received your saving grace, Lord, and then, once confronted with truths that don't fit into my lifestyle, I reject them or restructure them for my benefit? Have I been the recipient of miracles, healing and/or financial blessing only to spat on that gift by lacking a heart of humility and an authentic desire for obedience? Am I building upon the basics of my faith by going deeper in your word with a hunger for revelation of it? Have I stopped long enough in my busy life to ask you if I am doing any of these things well?

I can only answer for myself, and that answer is whatever I'm giving, it's not enough; whatever my level of hunger and obedience, it's not enough; whatever level of knowledge of his word, it is not enough to stay where I am at, wherever that may be. The very sacrifice made to purchase us compels us to a hunger that can never be fully satiated (in this age), a commitment to never stop pressing in (even when we don't feel anything), and an urgency in realigning our hearts toward him daily.

To practice a religion is to set my life by a set of moral codes, attempting to live by them, under the compulsion to compare myself to others within my sphere of religion who are attempting to do the same.

Following Christ is to set my life at his feet in total surrender, under the compulsion of love, in which I set my heart to expand in the giving and receiving of his love, and the power of that love is what compels me to compare myself to him, reconstructing my moral code to align with his, and to get and give support to others who are attempting to do the same.

There really is a difference between the two - as far as the east is from the west - but the burden of my heart lies in seeing and hearing from so many who have only seen the first and have no idea what the second even looks like. And I should know, because less than 2 years ago, I didn't know what that looked like, I didn't even know that was something that existed to even want to attain it for myself! I thought Christianity was a decision to acknowledge God as creator of the universe and a decision to live my life under a code of morals, mostly shaped through the influence of a combination of Sunday School, grandparents, the (horribly anemic) current moral temperature of this age, and a process of self-elimination, by which I decide which of those morals fit into the life I want to make for myself.

Man I was so far off in left field I was missing the game. God is not a self-improvement mechanism or a part-time job, He is the center of your universe, the author of your personality, and your biggest fan. He loves you beyond your comprehension of love, just as you are in your weakness and brokenness and sinfulness. But he loves you too much to let you stay where you are, he wants to teach you things, expand your capacity to give and receive love, and a gazillion more things. But he's a gentleman and he won't force himself upon you. What he has is too valuable to give away to someone who could take it or leave it. He is a passionate, devoted lover who wants passionate love and devotion in return. He asks so little and gives so much. And if you don't have a vision for this in your walk with God, then you may be worshiping the wrong god.