Choosing Peace

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit - just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call - one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. 
- Ephesians 4:1-7

What does peace in our lives look like? Does it mean being devoid of conflict? Does it mean never having a bad day? What do the scriptures mean when they refer to peace within the body of Christ and between men (mankind)?

I don't know many people who wouldn't say that they wished there was more peace in their lives, even some who tend to perpetuate a lack of peace in their own lives would say they wish for peace. Even those unsaved talk of peace on earth; and in the last of days, Satan will deceive the masses under a guise of world peace and tolerance. So there is something inherent in us that seeks and desires peace, in our hearts, our minds, our lives and our world. But is this peace we seek really as elusive as we make it out to be?

When I read this passage from Ephesians, it is like a how-to peace guide for my heart. There are layers and layers of implications here that, when discovered, enlighten our understanding and concept of peace and gives us clear instructions on how to obtain it for ourselves.

The first and most important revelation we must have about peace in our lives is that we have total control over that. Peace is not something afforded to us by the powers that be or dished out through some random system of luck; peace is a choice. How so, you say? The freedom given to us by God through the exercise of our free will entitles us. Free will is the combination of making decisions for our lives through a combined effort between our minds, our hearts and our soul - and through that we are afforded real power and control over our lives. So, in using the term "free will" (will) to describe the combined effort of our intellect, our hearts and our inner spirit-man in our decision making process, our focused "will" has enormous power to affect the outcome of our state of mind. Along the same lines as the power of positive thinking, our decisive thoughts* have the power to influence our perception of our circumstances. [References to *thoughts/mind here refers to more than just engaging intellect but a combination of decision making based on our exacting free will]. Keep that in thought as we move on.

I'll tell you what peace isn't; it's not an absence of conflict in our lives. If that were not so, then peace this side of time wouldn't be possible, and the promises Jesus made to us about obtaining his peace in this life (in measure, not in fullness) would be exaggerations. And if we believe Jesus is truth then we must believe that peace doesn't mean a life free of pressure or conflict. But often times, that is the definition we give to peace when we use that word, and it is the misapplication of this definition that plants seeds of dissatisfaction in our hearts in search of peace in our lives. In short, an unbiblical view of peace undermines what the bible actually says about it and how to obtain it, and undermines our faith in God, which has a cascading effect of negativity in our lives. So what is peace?

peace |pēs|noun1 freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility : you can while away an hour or two in peace and seclusion.• mental calm; serenity : the peace of mind this insurance gives you.

I believe a biblical definition of peace to be a combination of these first two definitions from the dictionary. When Jesus spoke of peace in terms of a state of mind we could attain (in measure) in this life, I believe he was referring to a mental calmness and serenity; combined with not an absence of disturbance in our lives but a minimized effect that disturbance has on us. Or simply put, what we think of when we talk about inner peace. And I believe inner peace is afforded to us through a combination of the promised love of God that brings about joy in our hearts; peace is the byproduct of inner lover and joy from God. So how does that translate into choice, you say?

Well, Jesus gave us example after example of how to manifest peace in our lives. We cannot control others. We cannot avoid conflict in a world riddled with it; in fact, the closer we get to the end times, the more intense conflict will be in the world around us. So we must look inward. Jesus shows us how to live a lifestyle that manifests inner peace, through application in his own life and in his word. Here are some examples of that lifestyle.

Humility and meekness produce peace. These two words have a negative connotation in the world around us. We see it as examples of what weak and pathetic people do because they have no power. We see it as an avoid-it-at-all-costs personality trait, to be squashed under the feet of real men (and women). But, the only personality description Jesus ever gave about himself in the bible was that he was "gentle and lowly in heart", Matthew 11:29. And we have all heard, "the meek shall inherit the earth", Psalm 37:11. He calls us to love one another as we love ourselves; and love produces humility and meekness. "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.", 1 Cor. 13: 4-7.

I won't going into the many misapplications of the word love in our culture; suffice it to say that the biblical definition reigns supreme. The increase of Godly love in our hearts manifests personality traits in us that produce love. We are called to empty ourselves, to be as empty vessels, so that we can be filled with love. That is the essence of humility - the emptying of ourselves with the intention of replacing that with the attributes of God.

If we stop for just a moment and analyze our thought processes regarding taking on the attributes of Christ, I think we'll be surprised at what we really find. We all know we are to be like Christ, but I think many turn away from that  when we come to the meekness intersection, throwing up our hands, exclaiming, "OK, that's it. That's just asking too much." And I believe it is our choice to turn away form that that leaves us lacking peace in our lives. We are taught that only the strong survive, that what we achieve is who we are and our ultimate goal - and that process of thinking induces pride and increase in self. This is a deliberate move by Satan to keep our focus off God and on to ourselves. He may not get us to worship him outright, but he will settle for us worshiping ourselves. After all, the end result is the same.

The conundrum that manifests as a result of rejecting meekness is one of increased conflict in our inner being. The shocking part of that is that every goal we set, decision we make, and thing we desire to attain is driven by our desire to experience joy and satisfaction from our lives. We actually sabotage our own chances for happiness by embracing the world's definition of how to obtain that.  The true revelation here is that we cannot experience the fullness of joy and satisfaction WITHOUT supernatural intervention. The more selfish we are, the more we want and are not satisfied. The more vengeful we are, the more spite finds its way back to us. The more entitled we feel, the more dissatisfied we are at the "lack of" in our lives. Nothing will be enough.

If you want peace in your life, you must put yourself lower than others. That doesn't mean you are spineless and fearful of man. What it does mean, is that you lift others up in your words and deed always. Regardless of how they treat you. Love your enemies. When someone wrongs you, extend forgiveness. That doesn't mean you continue to subject yourself to being mistreated, but it does mean you are to extend grace in circumstances where you are being persecuted or wrongfully accused. When you willfully CHOOSE to not defend yourself in these circumstances, you step aside and give God permission to defend you on your behalf. And his vengeance is way more powerful (and just) than yours. The biggest thing about embracing meekness is that you give up your pitiful human strength and replace it with God's strength. It's hard to bless and pray for someone who is wrongfully accusing you; but doing so blesses you and curses your enemy at the same time!! "If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink, for you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you." - Proverbs 25:21-22. I believe this passage has a double meaning; the obvious one of providing nourishment to your enemy, but also an underlying meaning here. By being Christ's example to our enemy, you introduce Christ to them, who is the bread of life and is the water that eradicates thirst for all eternity. Praying for your enemy disarms them and neutralizes the effect their attacks have on you.

When a friend hurts us or betrays us, we can find the grace to forgive by looking inward and reminding ourselves that we have been that fallen friend at some point in our lives, desiring the same grace. Again, this isn't permission for people to walk all over you - if someone in your life is dragging you down, you need to cut that tie. But we are all fallen from grace and are called to give the same forgiveness that we receive from Christ. By lifting others up, through encouraging words, investment in their lives, and genuine friendship, we are lifted up by Christ, "which is above all rule and authority and power and dominion, above every name that is named, not only in this age but in the age to come." -Ephesians 1:21. In other words, by not putting ourselves in a position above others (this isn't related to the workplace or authority, but of greatness in our own minds, exacted out in our thoughts and actions), we again step aside, giving Christ permission to lift us up with him, above all else. "What is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him? Yet you have made him (man) a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. You have given him dominion over the works of your hands; you have put all things under his feet." - Psalm 8:4-6. This passage does not apply to ALL men, but men (and women) who are brothers with Christ.

I think it's a lack of understanding and meditation on these things that keeps us away from the truth of the pure joy that surrendering ourselves to be as Christ is brings to our lives. Real peace comes from inside, not from circumstances. When we embrace the love of Christ as our source and set our hearts to love others with that same love, we are not devastated by a change in circumstances, a "lack of" in our lives, or overcome by anxieties that keep us from peace. Applying these principles of meekness and forgiveness doesn't mean that we let others run over us and never speak up. When we are wronged, we must bring it up in a loving and kind way in order for reconciliation. But regardless of the other party, forgiveness is for you, not them. It is for your peace, not theirs. It is when your peace is determined by their apology that makes it impossible to obtain. Here's my own personal top 5 ways you can cultivate inner peace in your life. 

1. Lift others with your words. There's a reason your mother said "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" - talking about others negative qualities is gossip, period. It produces an atmosphere of conflict and distrust. If you are bashing one friend to another, the friend that's listening may wonder if you do the same about them with someone else. Venting frustration is not the same thing. When someone has hurt you and you need to vent, try focusing the conversation not on saying that "this person is this way or that", but rather focus on venting how what took place (the event, not the person) affected you and made you feel. But the worst mistake you can make is to complain to others but never talk to the offender about it. That's not fair and it sabotages relationships. Assuming they should automatically know how they have offended you is ignorant and you will be waiting on them, often indefinitely, to make things right.

2. Forgive and bless your enemies. Sometimes reconciliation isn't possible. This is when both sides talk about the issue, acknowledge the grievances, take responsibility for their part in it, and give mutual forgiveness. You can't control them, only you. Forgiving them frees you from the pain and negativity associated with the incident, it has nothing to do with them. It is for your emotional well-being. And being the imperfect beings we are, sometimes forgiveness seems impossible. And on our own, it is. Forgiveness doesn't mean once you forgive, the hurt never resurfaces. It means you set your heart to forgive, and when moments of hurt resurface, you pray to ask for forgiveness again. Rinse and repeat as often as needed. One day the hurt will be gone. Nothing produces peace in your life like training yourself to not hold grudges.

3. Be humble. Humility is not lack of self respect or confidence; but, rather is having a quiet confidence in who you are; it's having an accurate assessment of your strengths and weaknesses, not over-accentuating either side. Humility is a choice to express love and grace in circumstances that would normally lend themselves to pride and arrogance. Someone who lives in a world of "I'm right's" and "their wrong's" is so unattractive. Being timid isn't humility; timidity is a fear of man - humility is NOT humiliation, abasement, debasement or degradation; humility is the act of the emptying of one's self for the purpose of receiving from God, or grace, which comes from God. Humility is not feeling the need to boast or degrade someone who has made a mistake, but always circles back around to point #1.

4. Love, love and love some more. Love covers a multitude of sins. Love really is the answer to all things. But love as we've come to define it in our society is so weak and pitiful. Love can only be given and received in fullness through God; anything else is less-than, wanna-be love. Which leads us to #5:

5. Seek a deeper connection with God. The bible calls it intimacy. The relationship between Christ and his believers is even referred to biblically as "the bridegroom (Christ) and the bride of Christ (the church)", underscoring the level of intimacy we are called to with God through Jesus (sensual concepts related to marriage in this scenario are not biblical); but rather is to describe the level of connection and commitment both parties make, which is what marriage is supposed to be. A lifelong commitment with one another where each are selflessly devoted to the other. There is no peace without God, period. He designed us to be deficient in many attributes without him. Um, cause he's kind of genius that way :-). What better way to entice us into relationship with him than to make us incomplete without him. God is not watching us from afar; disconnected with our lives and our problems and our hope and fears and dreams, on the contrary, he desires for you to know and understand Him and the things dear to His heart as much as YOU desire the same from others. And just like any other relationship, gaining intimacy requires effort. God is such a gentleman; he'll never push himself on you in any way. You must seek Him out to find Him, to know Him. How do you know if you have an intimate relationship with Him? Well, you can't be intimate with someone without first knowing who they are, what their character is like, and what things are dear to their hearts. Secondly, the bible says that the more intimate we are with God (which is also translated into having the knowledge of God), the more overwhelmed we are by His presence, majesty, glory, sovereignty, grace, mercy, love, pleasure and joy. If you are not yet lovesick for God, then you have not yet discovered how lovesick He is FOR YOU. Getting a glimpse of this is the most important discovery of our lives.

Note to self: we will never exhaust our knowledge of even one of God's attributes; translation - we will be growing in our knowledge of and love for God for eternity. But if you've been saved and are making the choice to stay at an introductory level of understanding of Him, you will never experience the fullness of love. That's not an opinion; it's a fact of nature, no different from the law of gravity. It's not a finger-pointing talking point, designed to make you feel less-than anyone else; it's a call to action, motivated by passion from someone who has received the transforming love of Christ in their lives. This isn't some special thing that's only available to a chosen few - this is available to ANYONE who desires to find it. It requires no special gift or circumstance to obtain other than free will to choose it.