I've been reading Max Lucado's book, Traveling Light, and came upon a chapter that really hit home with me.
Fall 2010 I battled with loneliness like I'd never experienced before. I had been in 2 long term relationships for the past 15 years. Truth was, I didn't know how to be alone.
"Loneliness is not the absence of faces, but the absence of intimacy. Loneliness doesn't come from being alone, but from feeling alone. Bags of loneliness show up everywhere. They litter the floors of bathrooms and clubs. We drag them into parties and usually drag them back out. You'll spot them near the desk of the overworker, beside the table of the overeater, and on the nightstand of the one-night stand-er. We'll try anything to unload our loneliness. This is one bag we want to drop quickly.
But should we? Rather than turn from loneliness, what if we turned toward it? Could it be that loneliness isn't a curse but a gift? But how could that be?
Consider this. You borrow a friends car. The radio is shot, but the CD player works. You rummage thru his collection looking for your style of music - lets say country, but find none. Only his style - classical. It's a long trip; you can only talk to yourself for so long. Eventually you reach for a CD. Initially, it's tolerable. But eventually it's enjoyable. You find yourself opened up to a new genre of music you'd have never discovered on your own - had you no other choice but having been forced to listen to it.
Oh, how God wants you to hear his music. He has a rhythm that will race your heart and lyrics that will stir your tears. You want to journey to the stars? He can take you there. You want to lie down in peace? His music can soothe your soul. But first, he's got to get rid of all the other CDs that have your attention.
So he begins tossing CDs. A friend turns away. The job goes bad. Your spouse doesn't understand. The church is dull. One by one he removes the options until all you have left is God.
He would do that? Absolutely. "The Lord disciplines those he loves" (Hebrews 12:6). If he must silence every voice, he will. He wants you to hear his music. He wants you to discover what David said (Psalm 23): "You are with me". Yes you, Lord, are in heaven. Yes, you rule the universe. Yes, you sit upon the stars and make your home in the deep. But yes, yes, yes, you are with me.
The Lord is with me. The Creator is with me. Yahweh is with me. Moses proclaimed it: "What great nation has a god as near to them as the LORD our God is near to us" (Deut. 4:7).
Paul announced it: "He is not far from each of us" (Acts 17:27). And David discovered it. Somewhere in the pasture, wilderness or palace, David discovered that God meant business when he said:
"I will not leave you" (Gen. 28:15).
"I will....not forsake My people" (1 Kings 6:13)
"The Lord will not abandon His people" (Ps. 94:14).
"God.....will never leave you or forsake you" (Deut. 31:6)
The discovery of David is indeed the message of Scripture - the Lord is with us. You are not alone. Your family may turn against you, but God won't. Your friends may betray you, but God won't. You may feel alone in the wilderness, but you are not. He is with you. And because he is, everything is different: YOU are different.
God changes your "n" to a "v". You go from being lonely to lovely. When you know God loves you, you won't be desperate for the love of others.
For fear of not fitting in, we take the drugs. For fear of standing out, we wear the clothes. For fear of appearing small, we go into debt and buy the house. For fear of going unnoticed, we dress to seduce or impress. For fear of sleeping alone, we sleep with anyone. For fear of not being loved, we search for love in all the wrong places.
All of that changes when we discover God's perfect love. And "perfect love casts out fear" (1 John 4:18). What was the focus of David in the psalm? "You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me". How did Jesus endure the terror of the crucifixion? He went first to the Father with his fears. "When I am afraid, I put my trust in you" (Psalm 56:3). Do the same with yours. Cry out to Jesus with your fears, your burdens. He doesn't think they're foolish or silly; he's been where you are, he knows how you feel. And was God willing? Yes and no. He didn't take away the cross, but he took the fear. God didn't still the storm, but he calmed the sailor. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God" (Phil. 4:6).
Don't measure the size of the mountain; talk to the One who can move it. Instead of carrying the world on your shoulders, talk to the One who holds the universe on his. Hope is a look away.
Now, what were you looking at?"
As I look back on my situation, I can truly say that my loneliness drove me to God. It was the greatest gift he could have ever given me. Because when I put aside my pride and my self assurances about how I don't need anyone and I got this, he took my burdens from me - all of them. The ones from last week and the ones that have plagued me for a lifetime. There is not one fear, worry, or moment of loneliness that he wasn't willing to take from me. Yahweh is always with me, near me, inside of me, leading me through the valley of the shadow of death. And I can say with confidence that I fear nothing with him with me.
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